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On the Joys of Getting Nothing Done

I hope you’ll forgive me for my absence. About the time I would have wanted to post here again, my doctor and I decided to start me on a new medication. The last week and a half have been…interesting. In short, I’m fried. I have not gotten anything done. Well, dishes. I have done laundry, and I have fed the cats, and I have kept up with the dishes. I even cooked dinner a few times. The fact that I consider those things to be accomplishments should tell you something about my week.

If you, like most people, are curious (nosy) by nature (Hey, I am, too. No judgement.), you’re now wondering why I started a new medication. Well, my doctor is hoping that it will treat my anxiety, and I’m hoping that it will treat my fatigue.

I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I would love to tell you what it is, but no one really knows for sure yet. We know it messes with your nervous system and how your body and brain interpret signals. It comes with all kinds of fun associated conditions like anxiety, depression, mobility issues, cognitive impairment, chronic pain, etc.

Like most chronic illnesses, fibro means something slightly different, for every person that deals with it. For me, it means a persistent presence of fatigue and lack of stamina. It means nearly constant low-level background pain in the form of joint pain, or headaches, or muscle issues. It changes on an almost daily basis.

It also means cognitive issues like brain fog and fatigue. It means that many days I have trouble concentrating for any length of time on anything complicated. It means that I sometimes just randomly loose chunks of vocabulary for a while. As you can imagine, these things are not conducive to getting things done as an author.

So that’s why I started new meds. And that’s why I often write at a snails pace, even when I have a million ideas about stories to tell. I’ve been dealing with this in it’s full-fledged, let’s talk to the doctor because something serious is wrong form for just under a year. A lot of things have happened in that year in addition to the fibro rearing its finally identifiable head, and I only got a firm diagnosis a month or two ago. So I’m still learning how to deal with this nonsense.

I hope that you guys like my work enough to stick around and put up with my snail’s pace writing. If not, that’s cool. However, patience will be rewarded. 😛 I will keep writing, even if it’s in painfully small chunks. And eventually I’ll get this fibro stuff figured out, and learn how to work with it, and hopefully get a bit more done.

Published inFibromyalgiaLifeWriting

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